30, 60, and 90 days o' fun!

So...it's been 14 months since my big surgery day, and in that time a few things have changed. I got a promotion, I bought a boat, my first ever new car, and a tiny little vacation property in Hot Springs, Arkansas that I'm absolutely in love with. My latest nephew, Colin came into the world, I went to Ireland with my brother, and in just a couple of weeks my oldest niece will be a teenager. I rode my bike more, kayaked for the first time (totally thought I would die when I flipped out of the kayak and learned the hard way that rivers keep flowing whether you are in your boat or not), and walked a 5k with my oldest brother (who skunked me, but I was still over 300lbs, and he's 6'1" and I'm 5'4", and...and...well, he skunked me). Oh, and I've lost 144lbs. 

So basically I've lost a lot of weight, and a lot of my savings account. But man has it been fun! 

My weight took a HUGE dive during the first 8 months or so post op, and then slowly yet surely I hit plateau after plateau. At first I was dropping 10lbs per week! Biggest Loser numbers without the joys of Jillian yelling at me to puke, or die but keep walking. Then after that point everything kind of just stopped. I'd stay the same weight for a week straight, gain a pound or two (how the heck does one GAIN weight after weight loss surgery???) for a week, lose that same pound or two for a week, wash, rinse, and repeat for the last 6 months straight. 

So, sometimes I'd want to blog, but wouldn't because I thought, "I haven't been that successful". Or I'd think, "man, I'm under 300lbs, I should blog!" But then I'd look at a picture and think I didn't really look any different, so I wouldn't. There were times when I thought "I should do a year in review", but then life was just busy with all of the kayaking, spending money, and whatnot, so I wouldn't. 

For the last week or so I've really been struggling with seeing the change. I look in the mirror and think, "I know I've lost weight, but do I still look like that 450lbs girl?" People still come to me and say they see a difference, but after 3 months of the scale telling me there hasn't been a difference, I can't help but think, maybe I haven't done as well as I thought? Next thing I know I'm staring at myself in the full length mirror in the bathroom at work, while drying my hands, thinking, "all of this change, and yet I'm still huge". I just don't see what they see. 

I know I'm probably just dealing with some body dismorphia, but knowing that's true, doesn't change my reflection. 

So, I decided to heck with the scale! It's time to hit up some new goals. Before I had surgery I was a beast in the gym. I was strong, determined, and steadfast, and I want that again. I also ate like a caveman, and felt great about it. 

So the other day a friend of mine at work and I were talking. She wants to lose some weight, and at 268lbs, I've still got plenty to lose myself, so we decided to do a friendly competition. Careful to not make it scale centric, I said, "why don't we take 30 days and stick, hardcore, to a diet? No cheats, and we have to log every single meal on My Fitness Pal before we go to bed at night. So that if I see you in the morning and you haven't logged your food, well, you better not have gone to sleep since yesterday! If one of us cheats, or forgets to log, we have to wash, and detail (interior and exterior) the other person's car! Whatever the scale does, who cares. In the end, we'll have totally changed our health, and worked on atleast one great behavior". Lara bit, and the competition starts tomorrow. What's funny is that since the goal isn't to be better than, or beat the other, I really get to be her biggest cheerleader in this, and vice versa. Competitive Kelly on the softer gentler cycle. I kind of like it. 

So, I'm starting my first diet since surgery. 14 months later and I'm finally going back to the healthy way of eating. I don't know if I'll lose a single pound, and honestly I'm not sure if I care. What I do know, is that I'm going to be a heck of a lot healthier than I was 30 days ago. 

My diet has one rule so far: stay under 40 grams of carbs per day. That's it. My body is VERY carb sensitive. Like flaming diabetic with blood sugar levels over 600 at one point carb sensitive, and I never EVER want to go back.  So reducing carbs has ALWAYS been beneficial for me. I would never recommend that for everyone else. I mean seriously, if I don't even use the same shampoo as you because we have different hair types, why would we assume our diets should be the same? I just know I feel very very healthy on a high protein, high fat, low carbohydrate diet, so for 30 days I'm going back to it. Carbs will be in the form of veggies, and fruit. In that order. Which is the part I dread. But a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do, right? 

But wait! There's more! 

While that's it for the diet challenge with Lara, I'm also going to take the next 90 days and take advantage of the fact that I live with a Personal Trainer (Lord help me). The first 30 days (June 16th - July 16th) I will be developing habits of working out five mornings per week at 6am, and doing yoga two nights per week at 6:15pm. Yep, that means a two a day work out twice per week (except of course at month end...I DO work in the mortgage industry after all). Great habits, and a full month to remind my body what sweat smells like. 

The second 30 days will be spent specifically on building muscle. That means lifting. Heavy. Which also means that I. Will. Be. Sore. But it'll be good. I've lost a lot of my old physical strength, and I want it back. Plus, I ain't gonna lie, now that I can see and feel bones I've NEVER seen nor felt, I kind of think they're weird looking and would like to put some pretty pretty muscle on top of them. July 16th through August 16th is my muscle building time. A lot can happen in 30 days, and I don't have any unreasonable expectations that I'll come out of it looking like Sarah from Chuck, but it'll help, right?

The third 30 day challenge for me (August 16th - September 16th) is for me to work on becoming the thing I've wanted to be since kindergarten. A runner. I've always been slow. I've always had terrible endurance, and month three is the time to change that. Month three is how long and hard can I go. Endurance month. My dream is that after a month I'd be able to run a full mile. 

So, Lara's on board, Erica's on board, and I know I've got the loving support of so many friends and family members. If you want to follow my food on My Fitness Pal, send me a friend request. 

Here's to the healthiest Kelly I've ever been in 90 days! This one ought to be a lot easier on ye olde check book at least. And here's to saying "screw you!" To the mirror when the girl in it lies.

After all, it's just a piece of glass. 

Before challenge pictures today. 

Height: 5'4"

Weight: 268lbs

Tank Top: Size 22/24

Capris: Size 24

Oh, and I NEVER wear a tank top in public...basically because I hate my arms. Buuuut I wanted to have some before pictures that showed my body. Just be thankful I didn't post the ones of me in my sports bra. 

And with THAT mental image...I hope you are all having a very Happy Father's Day!!! Hug your dads.

I'd give anything in the world to be able to hug mine again.